The fastest way to make discipline a source of joy and motivation is by looking backward with gratitude. When we start prioritizing decisions that benefit our future selves, we naturally begin to ask: Where am I getting my joy from? Instead of looking back with regret—dwelling on mistakes like drinking too much or saying the wrong thing at a family gathering—we can train ourselves to find joy in what our past selves have done for us.
The key is to start small. Before bed, I prepare my morning coffee by setting up the coffee pot, cleaning it and placing the filter, and getting everything ready to go. I lay out my clothes or all the necessary things I need for the next day. These small acts lower the amount of energy and decision-making I need in the morning. In essence, I’m acting as a butler for my future self—setting up my life in a way that makes things easier and more enjoyable down the road.
When my future self wakes up and sees everything in place, there’s a moment of appreciation. And because it was me who set things up—not a loved one or an external force—I’m able to look back with gratitude. This creates a loop: by continuously sending gratitude backward, I naturally cultivate concern and care moving forward. As I always look back with appreciation, my focus shifts to shaping a better future, and any concerns about the present begin to fade.
Thach Ho, LCSW 